Tonight I am down...depressed. Nothing in particular just stressing (normal for me) and wanting to feed the stress. ( also normal)
I ate all my portions of everything I'm allowed hours ago. I've spent the time watching this season's nurse Jackie, and wishing for pretzels, wine, chocolate, anything. My only saving grace is that ben has friends over and I am in another room with the bloodhound. Or maybe that's why I am wanting to raid the kitchen. Lonely ... An excuse... Really just a tough day.
Bloodhound is snoring with his face pressed against my arm. He gets the same food, twice a day, same amount. He accepts it. He is fit and happy. But I'm wide-awake and arguing my internal case for a popcicle or a reasonable amount of gum. ( which would be four pieces)
I am going to give in.
The stress is killing me.
I promise I'll claim what I eat.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Super Foods!
Every day I open the paper to see a full page ad for Super Food crackers and cookies. They claim to be full of good stuff that your body will thrive on. They appear to be marketed to dieters who are looking for a quick fix. (Aren't we all?)
There is no quick fix.
Super Foods are just crackers and cookies with a bit of goodness thrown in. They are still starch. They will still add on the calories. You could replace other starch for them but do you REALLY want to skip a bowl of whole grain cereal, or a sandwich, or rice, or potato, or pasta for a cookie?
I was told last week to go back to SIMPLE eating. Combo foods, including restaurant food it complicated to figure the value in it. Simple eating helps me track what goes in to my body and insures me I am getting all the nutrition I need to be healthy.
After 2 months I am able to gauge what I am eating without referring to my "chart." I look at food in terms of it's value and proportion. I can plan out my day of eating so that at dinner time - there's plenty to eat. There is actually plenty to eat at every meal.
My skin is soft because I drink 64 oz of water a day. My cholesterol went down because I am choosing LEAN meat and eating more whole grains. My body is regular because I eat fresh veggies and fruits every day. I am losing weight because my body is tapping into the stored fat because it knows it does not need to hold on to it. I get ENOUGH calories a day.
I mess up. I fess up. But the diet I am on works for me, so I KNOW it would work for you too. Today I weigh 157. Three and a half months ago I weighed 189. That's 32 pounds lost, an average of 1.5 lbs a week. That's WITH making mistakes along the way.
I went from obese, to overweight, to within 2 pounds of healthy weight, and I did it without eating Super Foods, or just meat, or starving.
KISS - Keep it super simple!
There is no quick fix.
Super Foods are just crackers and cookies with a bit of goodness thrown in. They are still starch. They will still add on the calories. You could replace other starch for them but do you REALLY want to skip a bowl of whole grain cereal, or a sandwich, or rice, or potato, or pasta for a cookie?
I was told last week to go back to SIMPLE eating. Combo foods, including restaurant food it complicated to figure the value in it. Simple eating helps me track what goes in to my body and insures me I am getting all the nutrition I need to be healthy.
After 2 months I am able to gauge what I am eating without referring to my "chart." I look at food in terms of it's value and proportion. I can plan out my day of eating so that at dinner time - there's plenty to eat. There is actually plenty to eat at every meal.
My skin is soft because I drink 64 oz of water a day. My cholesterol went down because I am choosing LEAN meat and eating more whole grains. My body is regular because I eat fresh veggies and fruits every day. I am losing weight because my body is tapping into the stored fat because it knows it does not need to hold on to it. I get ENOUGH calories a day.
I mess up. I fess up. But the diet I am on works for me, so I KNOW it would work for you too. Today I weigh 157. Three and a half months ago I weighed 189. That's 32 pounds lost, an average of 1.5 lbs a week. That's WITH making mistakes along the way.
I went from obese, to overweight, to within 2 pounds of healthy weight, and I did it without eating Super Foods, or just meat, or starving.
KISS - Keep it super simple!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Course correcting
I just went back and read a post I blogged it two years ago almost to the day. I did not stay on coarse that year or the next, but I revisited the same conclusions today as I did then. I am addicted to sweet treats. We all are.
If I indulge in anything that gives me the green light on making bad food choices - I lose will power. If I pop a piece of sugar free gum in my mouth, the hit of sugar-like goodness flashes the "more like this now!" button. Once off the path, well, you know the story. We've all been there.
What I know now that I did not know 2 years ago was that I need a plan to give me the green light to say no instead of yes. There is still a lot of sugar free gum in my house and it's right there at every check out. I still want it. My mind says i should eat sweet sugar free to replace the even greater urge to stuff fistfuls of chocolate into my mouth. The urges and their "replacements" are really the same thing. Giving in to them, or to alcohol which leads to giving in to them is stepping off the path. You can stop and eat the candy, cake, pie, ice cream, but you can't eat it without acknowledging it. I plan to give myself that moment to think, "I could eat that, but I'll be writing it in my food diary."
In fact, if I can't keep on coarse, I'm going to post my food diary.
It's one thing to share it with my nutritionist - i pay her to slap me on the wrist or praise me.
But sharing with everyone would be... Raw.
My husband loves his milkshakes and our favorite summer soft serve is just a few blocks away.They have non fat sugar free soft serve. Last week I was justifying cherry milkshakes. I claimed them as 2 milks and a fruit.
Fess up time... They are more like 4 milks (I'm only allowed 2) and the fruit? It's sugar syrup with a handful of candied cherries, not real fruit which has valuable nutrition and fiber.
Tonight we went there for my husbands milkshake and I revised what I can have. A small cone, flavored, really is 2 servings of milk - especially if I skip the cone. Tonight I had root beer flavored soft serve. I had skipped other milk products all day for that treat. it was not a reward or a substitute.It was on my plan. It was on coarse. It was delicious.
If I indulge in anything that gives me the green light on making bad food choices - I lose will power. If I pop a piece of sugar free gum in my mouth, the hit of sugar-like goodness flashes the "more like this now!" button. Once off the path, well, you know the story. We've all been there.
What I know now that I did not know 2 years ago was that I need a plan to give me the green light to say no instead of yes. There is still a lot of sugar free gum in my house and it's right there at every check out. I still want it. My mind says i should eat sweet sugar free to replace the even greater urge to stuff fistfuls of chocolate into my mouth. The urges and their "replacements" are really the same thing. Giving in to them, or to alcohol which leads to giving in to them is stepping off the path. You can stop and eat the candy, cake, pie, ice cream, but you can't eat it without acknowledging it. I plan to give myself that moment to think, "I could eat that, but I'll be writing it in my food diary."
In fact, if I can't keep on coarse, I'm going to post my food diary.
It's one thing to share it with my nutritionist - i pay her to slap me on the wrist or praise me.
But sharing with everyone would be... Raw.
My husband loves his milkshakes and our favorite summer soft serve is just a few blocks away.They have non fat sugar free soft serve. Last week I was justifying cherry milkshakes. I claimed them as 2 milks and a fruit.
Fess up time... They are more like 4 milks (I'm only allowed 2) and the fruit? It's sugar syrup with a handful of candied cherries, not real fruit which has valuable nutrition and fiber.
Tonight we went there for my husbands milkshake and I revised what I can have. A small cone, flavored, really is 2 servings of milk - especially if I skip the cone. Tonight I had root beer flavored soft serve. I had skipped other milk products all day for that treat. it was not a reward or a substitute.It was on my plan. It was on coarse. It was delicious.
If the suit fits....
My main workout of choice is water aerobics. I go 2x a week and have made a little band of girl friends who I chat with. They let me know I'm missed if I don't show up. I'm a bit of an oddity in the class. Yes because of my tattoos, but mostly because I use the largest water weights I can and I try to get my heart rate up to 120 or higher.
I started my workouts 10 pounds ago in my old speedo. I tried on new ones at that time and was depressed to learn could not get into a size 16. I refused to buy a new one in a larger size. The girls and i laughed about how horrid it is to shop for suits. Just the thought of it made me anxious.
My old speedo fell apart yesterday.
Today I reluctantly went shopping for new ones. I chose TJ max because since the chlorine in the pool wears out suits fast so why spend more. I looked through the 16s, then the 14s - gathering a handful of each. I knew I might be disappointed but I added a size 12 to the bunch. I literally was SWIMMING in the 16s. Ditto for most of the 14s.
To my amazement and joy I now wear a size 12 swimming suit!
And just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I braved trying on a pair of capri pants size 12.
You can not believe the feeling of the zipper going up and the waist band buttoned in a size you never thought you'd wear again.
They were not even tight.
I started my workouts 10 pounds ago in my old speedo. I tried on new ones at that time and was depressed to learn could not get into a size 16. I refused to buy a new one in a larger size. The girls and i laughed about how horrid it is to shop for suits. Just the thought of it made me anxious.
My old speedo fell apart yesterday.
Today I reluctantly went shopping for new ones. I chose TJ max because since the chlorine in the pool wears out suits fast so why spend more. I looked through the 16s, then the 14s - gathering a handful of each. I knew I might be disappointed but I added a size 12 to the bunch. I literally was SWIMMING in the 16s. Ditto for most of the 14s.
To my amazement and joy I now wear a size 12 swimming suit!
And just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I braved trying on a pair of capri pants size 12.
You can not believe the feeling of the zipper going up and the waist band buttoned in a size you never thought you'd wear again.
They were not even tight.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
So far so goods and so bads
I've lost just over 30 lbs since Jan 15. That's good. I felt good about my progress and started cheating with my eating. It started with adding alcohol , wine, when vacationing in napa. I ate out and ate well and did not gain weight when there, but I kept having wine and then evening drinks with my husband. That led to eating out with him then eating more starch, fat - skipping water - skipping workouts.
My so bad... Oh that would be the day after Easter when after two glasses of wine I lost all will power and ate EVERY bit if candy in my Easter basket. Then all the chocolate in my husband's basket. Um... Yeah. Sugar fueled frenzy. My rational? If I eat it all at once, the calories won't stick....
There is nothing good about stuffing candy in my mouth, chewing all the gum balls. My body and pride were in agony.
It began with sugar free but just as sweet.. Popsicles, gum, jello, soda.... A lot. I mean a lot... Like 6 popsicles... Huge bowl of jello... 20 pieces of gum ... Chew... Toss... Chew... Toss. Disgusting. Embarrassing. The more I ate the more I wanted. The more I ate. The calories add up. And then I would skip real food to make up the calories I ate in junk. Omg. Not cool.
So today I admitted it all to my nutrianist who said "blog it" then " go back to basic eating "
Day one. No treats. Workout. Water. More tea. More veggies.
So far so good.
My so bad... Oh that would be the day after Easter when after two glasses of wine I lost all will power and ate EVERY bit if candy in my Easter basket. Then all the chocolate in my husband's basket. Um... Yeah. Sugar fueled frenzy. My rational? If I eat it all at once, the calories won't stick....
There is nothing good about stuffing candy in my mouth, chewing all the gum balls. My body and pride were in agony.
It began with sugar free but just as sweet.. Popsicles, gum, jello, soda.... A lot. I mean a lot... Like 6 popsicles... Huge bowl of jello... 20 pieces of gum ... Chew... Toss... Chew... Toss. Disgusting. Embarrassing. The more I ate the more I wanted. The more I ate. The calories add up. And then I would skip real food to make up the calories I ate in junk. Omg. Not cool.
So today I admitted it all to my nutrianist who said "blog it" then " go back to basic eating "
Day one. No treats. Workout. Water. More tea. More veggies.
So far so good.
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